“I found a fairyland right inside myself here, ‘cause it let me. When I lived in South Jersey or whatever, there was no…no time for day dreaming. And life was simpler there. You weren’t hassled, you didn’t have people trying to hold you up or goose you and stuff like that. But that’s all there was. There was no chance for extension. There was no chance to be destroyed or really be created there. Just lived, and that’s okay for some people, but I always felt something different stirring in me, and that’s what…that’s like why I came here, ‘cause I knew there was stuff inside me that…that could like flower. Maybe it would really ruin me. Maybe I’d feel really shitty about it. But at least it would come out.”
Julie took herself inside the quiet of the church and crouched down by the altar. If she looked long and hard maybe she would see something wonderful.
She stayed there until the candles wavered and dimmed. There was no miracle, there was no magic, not even the flicker of a vision.
In the thick broth silence her thin milk body made shapes.”